There is no God in this world.
If people were wondering why I stopped blogging the “I Can’t Have Sex” anime, it’s because there isn’t anymore I can say about the anime. It’s good satire that manages to take disgusting anime cliches and use them properly. It has nothing to do with the fact that the satire broke down and I don’t want to see any more for fear of losing the feeling of a good anime. And believe me, even if that was the case, it would be nowhere near as bad as Ane Haramix.
Did you ever want to see an anime where the main character of True Tears gets in a love triangle with Sekai Saionji and Ayumi from Detective Conan? If so, you have problems. Ane Haramix is a four-episode porno that’s given to us by Pixy, a company that reaches out to its audience through the use of tentacle porn and sickening rape faces that would have made Ted Bundy think twice about targeting these girls. It idolizes the sickening incest that has become more prevalent in the anime industry to the extreme whilst offering nothing intelligent or substantial in return. And for some reason, it seems to have gotten a decent cult following for a hentai. Why? Well…
So what’s the premise of this? From this first episode, we see that the plot revolves around Nakagami, or as he’s known in this anime, Akitoshi, lusting over his extremely hot, red-headed sister with boobs the size of her face, Hitomi. They never clarify if Hitomi is actually blood-related to Akitoshi, but considering she’s got red hair and Japan would never go so far as to portray incest with the blood-related…except for Yosuga No Sora, Aki-Sora, and some of Warashiibe’s stuff…I think I get the hint. He is then greeted by a junior shinigami named Mina who warns Aki that his time is almost up. But unlike the actually good satirical anime, the method to get Aki a lifespan increase is to father a child, so that means he has to have sex with his sister since he doesn’t have a girlfriend and Mina herself can’t get pregnant. Naturally, this leads to his sister questioning whether to have sex with him in order to save his life, which did raise my hopes that this anime was going to take the issue in a decent direction. Unfortunately, the anime soon devolved into a giant piece of crap that surpasses Parallax from the Green Lantern movie.
If I had to compare Ane Haramix to something, I’d compare it to the Ice Age movies. The first one was pretty good, or in this series’ case, not that bad. It showed a “decent” premise, had some good laughs, and it presented a decent self-contained story. That third part probably should have tripped off warning bells that more wouldn’t work, because when you add to something that’s perfect, you get Moyashimon Returns. Each episode got worse and worse culminating in more problems than Syria will ever have. Don’t believe me? Well why don’t you take a look at the picture below?
Okay, that’s a picture of Aki from Episode 1. Nothing wrong with that aside from the fact that you’re probably complaining I’m not showing the females instead. Let’s look at the next picture.
This is a picture of him from Episode 2. Notice anything? No? Let’s go to the next picture.
This is a picture of him from Episode 3. See anything weird? If not, how about one more from the last episode? I’ll even throw in his sister for good measure.
The animation style changes every episode. And to make it worse, all of the future styles are worse than the first episode with the third episode’s being the absolute worst. Why? You think Tatami Galaxy would have been considered one of the greatest anime if it changed from artsy pretentiousness animation to Da Capo animation? Hell, if you’re going to confuse me with different styles, why not animate it South Park style? It’s much cheaper and more pleasing to look at.
And another problem with the show is that with each future episode, it’s obvious that they’re padding for time in order to fulfill the contracted four-episode limit. Obviously, Aki has sex with Mina because why not? But it takes forever to get to that part. The second episode consisted of Mina being more interested in sex thanks to seeing it in action and then delaying the plot of getting Hitomi pregnant through showing Mina around the town and interacting with human things. It wasn’t till the end of that episode that they finally get it over with and this leads to Episode 3. Episode 3 is…actually I’m not going to describe that. Episode 4 is…
You want to know what they are? Let the skull tell you.
Exactly what he said. Episodes 3 and 4 consist of nothing but sex that goes on so long that the scenes themselves actually start in the day time and go all the way to night. First off, that amount of stamina is impossible. Second, Episodes 3 and 4 are the ones with the ugly animation styles, so it’s not even pleasing to look at. But most importantly of all, because the series apparently ran out of things for the characters to do, they turned them into one-note jokes. At first Akitoshi was a guy who lusted after his sister but had an innocence to him that prevented him from being truly despicable. But by Episode 3, he turned into a complete monster who would exploit his sister to the point that I’m not even sure he cared about the fact that he was dying. So in a way, the animation style making him look uglier suited him. Hitomi started out as a harsh girl who would nevertheless defend her brother, but she eventually became a one-note sex toy with less personality than your everyday tsundere. So I guess the animation making her uglier fitted too. Mina…she became pregnant at the end. Yeah, in addition to ruining their characters, this anime ruins its own established rules. And you know what? The more I think about it, the more I think the animation became worse on purpose in order to reflect how shitty these characters became. Even the sex became shittier, as there were a lot of times where it was that terrible porno angle of just balls and male ass. Great artistic design I guess, but still…
Oh yeah, and there was pregnant sex. It showed up in Episode 4. And there was a lot of milk. Uh…yeah. I guess it was a surprise, but by that point, I just didn’t care. That tends to happen when your first few episodes are crap.
If I wanted lactation sex, I’d rather read Honey Blonde. Ane Haramix is just a lame incest fantasy which ended on a “semi-shocking” note that is ironically trying to milk its premise for all it’s worth, leading to an overlong and ultimately dry series that didn’t know when to finish. I felt dehydrated watching the fucking thing and I’m not sure that even ten gallons of milk will be enough to cure me. You know what? I should probably get back to watching the “I Can’t Have Sex” anime. Seeing that show’s brilliance will probably remind me of how you can take annoying shallow cliches and use them in just the right way to achieve something smart.
- Seriously, why did Parallax look like a giant piece of poo in the Green Lantern movie?
- Another padding technique i didn’t mention in the review is a four-minute long chibi-style ending sequence in each episode that’s cute, but wears its welcome out fairly quickly.
- No, I’m not picking up the “I Can’t Have Sex” anime again. IMOUTO is enough.