Well, I retooled this list again. It’s a new anime that suck list, only instead of just listing specific anime, I’m also shouting out category names that cover a wide variety of anime. There are many reasons why I decided to make this change, but you don’t want to hear about them, I’m sure. So without further ado, here’s the list of ten anime/names in anime I absolutely can’t stand. For the most part, I’ll pay attention to them to see if they’ll surprise me because I think almost all of these have a good anime in them somewhere. But otherwise, I look at them in scorn.
Also keep in mind that I chose popular names most people would care about rather than obscure stuff like the creators of Project Ice or Himajin Planning. Nobody gives a rat’s ass about them, do they? And I’m not saying shoujo, because that’s stupidly obvious.
Hanbun No Tsuki ga Noboru Sora
If you want to know the full length as to why I hate this anime, here it is. If you want a more calm opinion, it’s because the way it goes about its drama is downright atrocious on a human level. I’ve complained about the stupidity of Key’s stuff or the idiotic behavior of Mari Okada, but HanTsuki is one of those dramas that actually think nearly killing a person because he got caught with porn and trying to pass it off as a misunderstanding constitutes good drama. Good fucking god. I don’t want to dwell anymore on why this thing is shit, and I seriously question the sanity of people who think this is good drama. I’ll give that the art is nice, but that’s about it.
The big cheese when it comes to awful writers. The cream of the crop. The guy who brought us Guilty Crown, Denpa Teki No Kanojo, the Accel World adaptation, and Seikon No Quaser. Hiroyuki Fucking Yoshino. From what I’ve seen of him, the guy specializes in awful train wrecks that people seem to find enjoyable, but I find flat out boring because he doesn’t embrace the cheesiness like Code Geass or Future Diary do. How do you make something so pretty and massive as Guilty Crown so fucking boring? I don’t know, but Yoshino found a way.
What pisses me off about him the most is that he has good ideas, but he can’t execute them worth shit. Now I know it’s the director’s job to reign in the script writer, but when every one of his anime have the same problem (terrible characters, poor pacing, devolving into messes whilst being unentertainingly stupid), I start to question why this guy even has a career.
Fuck Hiroyuki Yoshino. Just fuck him!
Hell Girl is probably the highest ranked anime on MAL that I ever gave a “1″ to because of how much I loathed it. Why did I have such an allergic reaction you may ask? Wasted potential, that’s why. And not just wasted potential. Wasted potential that was so horribly mismanaged I paced around my room whilst screaming a bunch of curse words that DEEN probably heard across the ocean. You had this cool creepy girl who ferries people into hell and has awesome sidekick characters that investigate their clients in order to learn just what’s up. And who do you decide to focus on? A bunch of people whining and crying about their petty lives in literally the most contrived way possible.
I’m not kidding when I said that after seeing that anime, I gave up on it for the majority of 2011 (except for Madoka) and never got to seeing stuff like Level E or Nichijou or whatever else. It is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad…you get where I’m going with this.
Of all the studios I pay attention to, none of them have ever missed as much as Silver Link have. Even studios I’m not too fond of like Shaft, JC Staff, and shit have given me one anime I’ve liked or thought was alright. Silver Link has nothing whatsoever. Not one good anime under their belt.
It’s a studio created by a bunch of former Shaft employees that mainly specialize in adapting light novels and giving them creative animation and shit. And I hate them because they’re not in the least bit funny, despite multiple attempts at trying to tell a joke and ruining them due to poor source material or shitty comedic timing. The number of misses in Baka To Test, Dusk Maiden of Amnesia, and fucking C^3 was just sad, and the fact that none of their anime have the characters and story to back up their jokes certainly didn’t help in the slightest. Also their attempts to be serious are laughable, especially when compared to the only work of theirs I somewhat respect, ef-a tale of memories (which I have quite a few problems with), and degrading from there.
If I wanted to see unfunny comedy with stupid drama and great animation, I’d just watch something by KyoAni goddammit!
One thing you have to do when writing about a particular subject, whether it’s parody or a tribute, is to love the thing. Put effort into it, like I do with this blog and (to a much lesser extent) work. Kind of like what the actors did with the X-Men movies when they read all the comics and watched the cartoon just so they could get their characters right because they’ve never been exposed to X-Men before.
Watching Jormungand, I got the feeling that it absolutely hated its subject. It didn’t care about action. It didn’t know jack about arms dealing (I looked into it and found out there were several facts they got wrong). It didn’t even have the gall to look pretty whilst giving the middle finger to guys like me who love Black Lagoon and wanted to see another version of that.
I’ll give Jormungand this. Koko is an entertaining character who isn’t sexualized in any real way. Other than those points though, the anime is just an absolute plodding borefest with a shit ending and no idea how to capture the spirit of arms dealers, or even action heroes. You thought the Spiderman reboot was bad with it being pretty much Vampire Diaries except replacing vampires with Spiderman? Well, okay the movie was shockingly badly edited and written, but at least the action scenes looked cool. Jormungand doesn’t even give us that.
I really think people only liked this because it was unusual for an anime about arms dealers to exist. That’s fine and all, but if you’re going to make it suck, I’d rather you not make it at all.