Nintendo Switch Review — Has Gaming Evolved Again?

Wasn’t going to do this due to all the professional people having given their own takes before the console was even released, but then I decided “what the hell?”

  • So I ended up getting the Nintendo Switch at launch date as well as suffered minor embarrassment regarding how all of my family members who had the same idea got theirs hours before mine showed up, and have played more of the new Zelda than I have. And given how little time I’ve put into actually playing Zelda as is (I’ve only gone through eight shrines as of this time or writing), it’s safe to say that my water cooler discussions are going to be a bit lackluster by comparison. I know, I know. I live a cursed life where all of life’s goodness comes to me late in the game – or comes early to everyone around me depending on how you look at it. But hey, I do get it eventually, which is better than most people, right?
  • Anyways, it’s going to take me a while before I throw my hat into the massive “the new Zelda is perfect” review bandwagon on this blog, but I do want to talk about the Switch anyways from a casual fan perspective. That means I’m not going to judge it on the overall power compared to consoles like the PS4 or anything like that – although I’ve never cared about that stuff anyways, and PS4 to me is mainly just my go-to console for Japanese games, regardless of how they look.

  • Most of you already know what the Nintendo Switch looks like by now, although I have to say I was a little surprised by how small the final product ended up actually being. The console itself is smaller than the Wii U tablet, and the docking system is pretty simplistically designed. Just put the former into the latter, plug in the adapter and HDMI cable, and voila. Plus, if you need to play on the go, take the console out, attach the Joy-Con controllers onto the side, and you don’t even have to turn the console off in order to accomplish that.
  • The setup was very simple stuff that everyone has gone through with a new console before, so I won’t elaborate on it. And I also appreciate that instead of a pamphlet of instructions, they just put the “how to setup your Nintendo Switch” on the actual box itself. Because really, that’s all you need. If six-year olds can play Call of Duty, then the people who buy the consoles for them can figure out how to setup a game machine to play games.
  • I know a lot of people are bummed that the Mii system and all that other networking activity was removed (for now), but I couldn’t give two shits about that mechanic. I’m not really much of a social media kind of guy as is and I already have my PlayStation consoles when it comes to Netflix and such. Although keep in mind, I’m not opposed to friend requests either as long as you ask first.
  • So yeah, the actual setup of the system was quick and easy. I liked how it displays the latest Nintendo news every time you turned the thing on, and I like how it takes three presses of the “A” button to get to the menu where you can actually select a game to play. You’ll get no complaints from me regarding the software whether interface or game-related. But what about the external components surrounding the machine?

  • Well they’re very imperfect, that’s for sure. Have any of you guys played with the PS Vita? Remember how weird it felt to insert and remove games from there compared to the Nintendo 3DS? Well guess what game docking material the Switch uses, and if you guess wrong, you obviously can’t read.
  • I’m not a big fan of the screen protector that’s out at the moment either. I applied it as best as I could, but there are some noticeable marks from where I didn’t press it all the way with no method of fixing it short of removing said protector and getting a new one. According to people I’ve talked to, it’s a bit of a common problem for the screen protector to not adhere to the Switch screen all the way no matter how hard you press. While it’s not too noticeable when you’re actually playing a game on it (though keep in mind, all the games for the Switch as of right now are brightly colored. I can’t speak for when darkly-lit games come out), it’s still a bit of an annoyance to see.
  • Having said that, you’ll definitely want a screen protector as soon as possible if you plan to play the console on the go because the docking system is kinda shitty. It’s so loose to the point that there isn’t much of a click when you put the console in and you’re going to inevitably touch the screen when taking it out.
  • The looseness of the docking system would be even more annoying if it wasn’t for the fact that turning off the console -let alone the game you’re playing – is a bit of a challenge in of itself. All the power button really does is put it in sleep mode, and the switch between TV mode and handheld mode when it comes to docking or undocking the console is pretty seamless.

  • The Joy-Con controllers will always work regardless of whether they’re connected to the Switch or not, although you better make sure you’ve cleaned your room and have a tendency to not raise your knee whilst playing, because it’s very easy to block the signal on those things, and the patch that Nintendo has put out to fix the sync issues consists of a program that has yet to be completed. And playing with them is awkward enough given that they’re one step above the computers in Minority Report in terms of feel and design.
  • Just a heads up, I do not recommend you play games with the Joy-Con grip that’s included with the console, because it is total fucking horseshit. There’s a noticeable delay in the left control stick when it’s plugged in, and given how much trouble Skyward Sword’s half-second motion control problems screwed people in the past, I can only imagine what playing Breath of the Wild – a game where you will die alot – with a 1-2 second delay before you can even more will do.
  • Haven’t tested the kickstand because I doubt I’ll ever be in a situation where I’d want to play the game that way. I have fiddled with the plastic used to support it though and it feels a bit cheap.

  • While it’s a bit early to talk about the Nintendo Switch’s future, I definitely have no problem with buying the thing on launch. It has its problems, but nothing that really gets in the way of playing fun games. Having said that, similar to the Wii launch, the only big game at the moment is the new Zelda, with everything else being either average party games or ports of stuff you most likely already own by now if you were interested, so don’t feel too bad that you can’t buy one of these things for a few more weeks. If you just want to get into the new Zelda as fast as possible, you can always play the one on the Wii U. And if you don’t have a Wii U…sucks to be you, because it has some fun games.
  • Having said that, my recommendation is that it’s probably best to wait for a price drop if you’re more of a casual person who needs to save money for more important things, because in addition to the $300 price for the console itself, you’re going to need to buy a whole lot of accessories that are sold out as of this time of writing. All I personally have is the screen protector and a carrying case, and let me tell you that getting the Pro controller and such is going to be an absolute necessity if you want to get more hardcore with the machine. Especially considering the battery life on the Joy Cons and the Switch itself is about as long as a Sega Game Gear mixed with an Android that’s always on the Internet.
  • As for future games coming out this year for the machine, I’m definitely getting Super Mario Odyssey. I’ll buy Mario Kart 8 Deluxe when that comes out, as I didn’t play my Wii U version much and ended up selling it after I got strapped for cash a few years back. Splatoon 2 isn’t really a priority, but I’ll probably do that as well.

  • 2017 has been a great year for video games so far, and I can’t wait to see what other distractions from the Republicans and the Democrats fucking things up we’ll be given in the coming months.

Minor Quips

  • Also, you’ll have to pay me before I lick the cartridges. What kind of sick fuck would get the idea to do that?
  • Not sure if I’ll buy an external SD card considering I don’t download games if I can own the physical edition.
  • So who was the brain dead idiot who thought putting the charge port on the underside of the Switch was a good idea?

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